We Are Only What Others Perceive Us to Be

 Align Actual Self with Self Image

We may have some self image of ourselves, this is the way we think about us, in reality this self image may or may not match with our actual self. Thus we must note that there are gaps between what we think we are and what we actually are, these gaps shall be referred as DISA(Distortions In Self Appraisal), if Self Image is represented by SI, and Actual Self by AS , then we have

DISA (Distortions in Self Appraisal) = SI (Self Image) - AS (Actual Self)

DISA (Distortions in Self Appraisal) happen because we love to see ourselves as what we aspire to be and not as what we actually are.

Stop correcting others & Start Working on Self Improvement

The real difference lies between those of us who are aware of these gaps and are constantly striving to uplift our AS (Actual Self) to match our SI (Self Image), and in the process raise the bar by setting up even higher standards of SI (Self Image), this is where real growth happens. On the other hand there is another set of people amongst us who can't recognize or don't want to accept DISA(Distortions In Self Appraisal),there by not only blocking our own growth & development , but also resulting into stagnation and deterioration of our AS (Actual Self).This is a very critical and alarming situation , because those of us in this  latter category get so self obsessed that we start working on the assumptions that if we are not getting the desired results then there is something wrong only with the others involved in the situation  and we need to work on correcting others and there is no improvement required in our AS (Actual Self). 

Let’s Test Our Growth Potential

Let's take a simple test, to know to which category we belong, by answering these three simple questions

1. Do we have an open mind to see the gaps between our SI (Self Image) & AS (Actual Self)? 
2. Do we feel that we have the humility to accept our own shortcomings and the courage to bring about a change (read improvement) in our AS (Actual Self)?
3. Do we have the tolerance to accept others with their mistakes, giving them space to learn from their mistakes and be a facilitator to their growth?

Managing OP (Others' Perception)

Let's understand whatever we do we are always viewed by others in the light of the perception formed in their minds regarding us. Thus the most vital part of all our social interactions is managing the perception of others around us. A word of caution, here we are not promoting deceiving, cheating or misrepresentation to achieve ulterior motives, on the contrary what we are saying is that we must keep trying with a genuine intent and an open heart, for others to appreciate our endeavor, thereby facilitating formation of a healthy perception regarding us in their minds.

The Ideal Scenario

In the end what matters is how others look at us, so the way we conduct ourselves is of supreme importance. The ideal scenario can be represented by

SI (Self Image) = AS (Actual Self) = OP (Others' Perception)

Major Challenges

The three major challenges facing us all the time include

1.     Having our healthy SI (Self Image)

2.     Working on our AS (Actual Self) to match our SI (Self Image) by bringing about the necessary improvements

3.     Mastering each & every aspect of our social interactions to orchestrate the desirable OP(Others' Perception) , closely matching with our SI (Self Image)

God Bless

    Success N Synergy